I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
