I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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