if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
