Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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