i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
