I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
