i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it's like heaven, but drunker
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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