I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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