my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
whose parrot is this?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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