Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
