We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
