Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
