you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
