too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
