She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
