I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
