you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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