I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize