Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
