is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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