So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
