Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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