it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
