today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
