he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
