do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So much rum. So many feels.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize