I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
