i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
