I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
