Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
