I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
