Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize