your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
