just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
