and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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