Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize