On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You don't make any sense
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