you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am full of burrito and curiosity
either way he was missing a nipple.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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