It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
