Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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