I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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