This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
