youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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