Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
