Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
