I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
