Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
