So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Who died my cat blue again?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
