Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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