Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it hurts more in the daytime
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
