Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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