if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
