do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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