shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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