no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
