i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
