i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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