Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
