he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
